So cover songs. I’ve been working on this for the past 2 months so you’d think I would’ve made a decent intro by now. Well ok if by working on this for the past two months you mean going to a coffee shop every couple a weeks and writing a sentence or on a really productive day two whole fucking sentences. But the best part about that is the person who almost enviably asks me “OH MY GAWD ARE YOU A WRITTER?” If only they knew I was writing dick jokes for the internet, then they’d be really impressed.

Anyway back onto something that’s actually fucking relevant, let’s get to my bizarre as all sorts of hell reasoning for choosing these covers. I wanted to choose covers of songs that people had actually fucking heard before. Because if I didn’t then the reaction would’ve just been “I guess this probably sounds like a million times better than the original. I don’t know whatever, screw this blog ,now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to go reblog pictures of anime girls.” Since people actually reading this thing would be nice I decided to stick with non-obscure as hell songs. But don’t worry, I still found a way to be really obnoxious and pretentious about music, by making all the artist a bunch of bands that you don’t listen too. Because you know I figured there weren’t enough music elitist assholes on the internet.

Ok so the playlist is embeded in the article and you’re only allowed to skip two songs. So be sure to save them for the really terrible ones as opposed to the regular terrible ones.

The Cardigans – Iron Man (originally by Black Sabbath) I just love how this sounds absolutely nothing like the original which is pretty much the main reason I put this on here. So people will get that these covers won’t sound exactly like the original. Although most people don’t seem to get that the point of a cover is to not make the exact same song as the original and they’re usually like “ What they didn’t exactly copy every single note from the original what is this blasphemy”. Actually here’s a direct quote from a youtube commenter on this song. “This song sucks because the rythm doesn’t make me want to destruy things”. You know I like destroying things as much as the next guy but I like to keep my mindless warpath of destruction separate from my music. I mean I actually really like the mellowness of the beat and the smooth sexy voice of Nina Person. So all in all this is pretty great cover even if it doesn’t mke me want to smash shit.

Look at the Fields – Miracles (originally by The Insane Clown Posse) “FUCKING MAGNENTS how do they work?”, That’s still funny right guys. Okay, so that song came out 4 months ago which is like a million years ago in Interwebz time. Which makes me pretty much the worst person ever for making that joke but I still want to talk about this one just because they somehow managed to make “Miracles” into something actually somewhat listenable and that in itself is a miracle (see what I did there? Nah you pretty didn’t it was pretty complicated joke). But beyond the fact they made “Miracles” into something that doesn’t make me want to kill myself, this one is only ok song. Sure, it’s cute and indie as all sorts of hell. Especially the disgustingly indie music video, don’t get me wrong I like indie music I mean it’s pretty much my entire gimmick on here but this is just too indie even for me. Anyway, Look at the Fields actually managed to make this song into something actually listenable and I guess that’s pretty amazing of them.

The Jesus and Mary Chain – Who Do you Love? (originally by Bo Diddley) I freaking love this cover. It manages to take an upbeat song about a girl realizing she loves a guy into a sick twisted song about suspicions of cheating. Which is much more relatable to me… uhh just pretend I didn’t write that bit.

Onopa Screw it I’ll just copy and paste it. ФЛОРА – Still Alive (originally by Jonathon Coulton) So, I used to completely hate “Still Alive”. Well that’s not entirely true I loved this song for almost one whole week which is crazy long but then I couldn’t stand to hear it anymore. This wasn’t because it was a bad song but my hatred of the song is owed to it beingliterally? raped to death by (air quotes) hilarious people being all like “The cake is a lie! LOL! Am I funny yet?… please laugh … please I have no friends.” In spite of all that crazy business, this Russian as hell rock cover still manages to make this song fresh as it was before the information super highway got a hold of it. Plus it has a sexy Russian chick singing because you know it’s a Russian band. Ok, I don’t actually know what she looks like but still she’s Russian so that pretty much just automatically makes her sexy.

Karen Souza – Creep (originally by Radio Head) Has there ever been a bad cover of this song. Ok besides that one Korn cover. Now I know that everyone is thinking why didn’t I use the cover from The Social Network. Well I didn’t do that because I made this playlist about 2 months ago and I’m way too fucking lazy to actually take the 5 seconds to change out the song. To get back to things that are actually you know relevant, I’m totally in lesbians with this cover. I just really love how the jazz motif gives this an incredibly different feel from Radio Head’s without being really contrived like I don’t know a scream version or something equally retarded.

Los Colorados – Hot N Cold (originally by Katy Perry) Its Gypsy folk music cover song do I really need to say anything else. Honestly I’d probably listen to a gypsy folk version of just about anything. How about gypsy folk version of the Abbey Road Medley? Who’s with me? Anyone? Come one it’d be really cool. Whatever you people just don’t know good music.

Speaking of Beatles covers, this is probably a good time talk about how I feel about Beatles covers because the rest is all Beatles cover and … a Lady Gaga cover but they’re like the same thing right. By the way how awesome was that segue?

All Beatles covers are terrible! Ok that’s being a bot harsh, it’s only about 99% of them that suck. The problem with most Beatles cover is that they either stick far too close to the original or they come up with a contrived new take that doesn’t really fit the song.

The Breeders – Happiness Is a Warm Gun (originally by The Beatles) Ok get ready for the most shocking thing you’ve ever heard. You ready yet? I don’t think you’re ready yet? I’ll just give you a bit to get ready………………. Ok you should be ready now. All right here it goes I actually like this version of the song more than the original. I know liking a Beatle’s cover more than the original is pretty much the worst thing you could ever do on this series of tubes. But guess what, I don’t care.

Anthony Stewart Head – We Can Work It Out (originally by The Beatles) Yeah the guy from Buffy made an album. I really don’t have anything to say about this one other than it’s a pretty cool cover so I’m just going to talk about Buffy instead. Or I could not do that and write about stuff people actually want to read about.

The Baseballs – Pokerface (originally by Lady Gaga) So I mostly just put this on here to be able to put Lady Gaga in the tags and cash in on all that Lady Gaganess. But this still a pretty solid cover by The Baseballs. The retro feel to this song and dowoop style of the backup vocals work so well with this song.

So that’s my list of cover songs for absolutely no reason at all. If you guys have any cover songs that you like and I was too much of idiot not to put them in be sure to let me know about them. Any way here’s the too long didn’t read. Although TLDR on Tumbler is anything longer than two sentences but whatever here it is.

TLDR: I act really snobby about cover songs and make a bunch of fart jokes.

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